thedailywhat:

Epic Recut of the Day: What a difference a rearrangement of Seinfeld scenes makes: Meet George — a grief-stricken architect mourning the loss of his one true love, yada yada yada, the meaning of life.

[ratsoff.]

Louis CK (paraphrased): “So the doctor asks me, ‘Well, at what point in a meal to you usually feel full and stop eating?’ Full? I don’t stop eating because I’m full. The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.”

Conan is moving to TBS!

thedailywhat:

Tweet of the Day: This is the real deal. (Not the Rudy part, unfortunately — the other one.)

[@conanobrien.]

(via ageofreason)

ageofreason:

christopher hitchens - how come there is something?

A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping:
- Dear, please, go to the nearby grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6.
- O.K., hun. Twenty minutes later the husband comes back bringing 6 loaves of bread. His wife is flabbergasted:
- Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
- They had eggs.

(Source: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/895296/how-can-you-tell-if-a-person-is-a-programmer)

OK… this is hilarious. A woman who is married to a man who talks in his sleep records what he says each night. So funny.

Poor guy…